Title: Isle O’Neill
Author: Katerina17
Pairings: None
Spoilers: “Shades of Grey”
Season: 3
Content Warnings: Excessive angst?
Disclaimer: “Stargate SG-1” and its characters are the property of MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Film Corp., Showtime/Viacom and USA Networks, Inc. This story is for entertainment purposes and the author (me) is not getting paid for it. No copyright infringement is intended. (Really.)
Author’s Note: This was written in about 10 minutes, and it’s un-betaed, and it probably doesn’t make much sense, but ... what the heck. It’s from Jack’s POV during “Shades of Grey”.
What scares him isn’t so much that he’s pulling this off. It’s that he’s pulling it off so effortlessly.
It isn’t just that he finds it easy to pretend he’s a heartless thief, although that is disturbing in itself. It’s that his friends have been so quickly convinced by his act.
He knew, when he took the assignment, that they would be confused and probably hurt by his behavior. He knew that they would look at him differently than they had ever looked at him before. What he didn’t expect was that they would really believe he was the villain he pretended to be.
“I guess I never really knew you at all.”
How can they think they never knew him? They’ve fought by his side for three years. They’ve seen him hurt and scared and desperate and angry. They’ve seen him writhing on the floor at the feet of a false god. They’ve watched him die and they’ve watched him watch them die, and they still think they don’t know him?
The fact that they can’t see beyond his facade scares him, but it isn’t what scares him most. What scares him most is that he thinks that they might be right, that maybe they really don’t know him. Maybe they’ve never known him. Maybe he’s the only person who really knows him.
He remembers reading that no man is an island, but no matter how hard he looks, all he sees is water on every side.
Maybe he doesn’t even know himself.
FINIS