“Was not,” Colonel Jack O’Neill said maturely.

“Was too.”

“Was not.”

“Was too.”

“Was not.”

“Sir!” Major Samantha Carter practically shouted. She was at her wits’ end. Her CO was a good man, unfailingly loyal to his friends and always willing to sacrifice himself to ensure their safety, but at times he could be more annoying than a 2-year-old on a sugar high.

Especially when he was around Lyndraia.

Sam knew that the two considered themselves friends, even if they wouldn’t admit it, but somehow when they were together, each brought out the bickering juvenile in the other.

“What were you two arguing about?” Sam asked, hoping she could somehow resolve the disagreement before she and Daniel lost it and started shooting people. (Boy, that would go over well in their diplomatic relationship with the Etarians.)

Even Teal’c was looking like his nerves were a little frayed around the edges. One eyebrow had practically jumped off his forehead and for a moment earlier she had actually thought he’d raise the other one.

In response to Sam’s question, Jack looked at Lyndraia. Lyndraia looked at Jack. They both looked at Sam.

They couldn’t remember.

Oy, Sam Carter thought. Just one word: oy.

She closed her eyes, counted to ten, and repeated the Serenity Prayer three times. This was supposed to be a relaxing mission. They’d get to visit with Lyndraia and meet her new boyfriend, solidify their diplomatic relations with the Etarians, and enjoy the temperate beauty of Lyndraia’s new planet.

Sam should have known better.

Oh, they’d gotten to visit with Lyndraia, all right, and some of it had actually been really fun - when Lyndraia and Colonel O’Neill weren’t driving each other batty. Sam had a sneaking suspicion they actually enjoyed tormenting each other. They especially seemed to enjoy driving Sam, Daniel and Teal’c up the wall by tormenting each other.

They’d gotten to meet Lyndraia’s new boyfriend, too - he was in his early twenties probably, only about 140 years younger than his girlfriend, but what’s a few years of age difference? Anyway, Redan of the Etarians had officially had the fear of God put into him. He’d gotten a lecture from Colonel Jack O’Neill. Keep your hands off her until you’re married to her, don’t make her cry unless you want Teal’c to make you cry, that type of thing.

Sam had smirked through the whole lecture.

Of course you’re not doing it because you care about Lyndraia, sir, she had thought gloatingly. You’re just doing it because it’s so much fun to see the kid squirm, right?

She had even planned to tell him that later, once they were out of Lyndraia and Redan’s earshot.

Now she was pretty sure she’d shoot him long before that happened.

After Jack O’Neill’s lecture had ended, Redan had actually managed to win SG-1’s grudging approval. He seemed like a nice kid, quiet and even possessing a sense of humor, and he was head-over-heels in love with Lyndraia.

She was more reserved in her emotions, having loved and lost a lot of people in her life, but Sam had the feeling that Lyndraia would probably have accepted on the spot had Redan proposed to her. Good for her, the blond Major thought. He’s a good guy and she deserves somebody to spend the rest of her life with.

Or not.

They were arguing again.

Oy!

So sorry, Redan, but I think I’m gonna kill your girlfriend before you get a chance to marry her.

Sam, Daniel, Teal’c and O’Neill were currently on their way back to the ’gate, having completed their three-day visit to Etaria. They were accompanied by Lyndraia, Redan, and Caeta, a warm and friendly older Etarian lady who had served as Lyndraia’s adoptive mother since the ex-Goa’uld host’s arrival on Etaria nearly a year ago. Caeta had gray hair and a smile that made her eyes crinkle, and she seemed quite protective of her “daughter”.

Which meant she probably wouldn’t be too happy when Sam killed Lyndraia.

Sam liked the woman who had once been host to the Goa’uld Kali, she really did; the two of them got along well, although nothing like Lyndraia and Daniel did. The two both knew what it was like to lose loved ones to the Goa’uld. Plus there was the fact that Daniel was the spitting image of Lyndraia’s long-since-dead fiancé Jothan, which made her somewhat partial to his company.

Even Daniel, however, as much as he liked Lyndraia, was clearly not immune to the evil thoughts Sam was currently entertaining. He was holding his gun a little more tightly than usual and casting furtive glances at Lyndraia and Jack, seeming to think, I wonder if Redan and Caeta would notice if I killed them?

“You are mistaken, Colonel Jack O’Neill,” Lyndraia stated flatly.

Jack responded with slightly less maturity than Sam’s four-year-old nephew had been exhibiting the last time she’d seen him.

OY!

The Colonel had been the one most determined to save Lyndraia back when she was still Kali’s host (which was unusual, because Daniel was the one who was usually overtaken by overwhelming sympathy), and Lyndraia had practically killed herself to save O’Neill’s life. Had trouble suddenly appeared on the horizon, Sam knew the two would be every bit as determined to save each other as they had been back then.

She prayed for a battalion of Jaffa to emerge from the trees.

Anything to make them damn well shut up!

“Sir,” Sam said suddenly, interrupting Jack mid-sentence. He turned toward her, losing his train of thought.

“Yeah, Carter?” Ooh, he was using the big brown eyes on her. So not gonna work this time, Colonel.

She looked him straight in the eyes. “Shut. Up.”

He didn’t say anything.

Neither did Lyndraia.

Sam needed chocolate. Desperately. And she had a gun.

O’Neill was starting to put the pieces together in his head. Oh boy, it’s that time of month … I think I just almost committed suicide.

Uh-oh. The expression on Daniel’s face was identical to the one on Carter’s.

Daniel doesn’t have a time of month, does he?

He’d better not.

Are we really that irritating?

Lyndraia was smirking a little bit. Jeez, but that kid could be annoying when she wanted to be. Okay, so she wasn’t a kid, but she looked like it to him.

Silence. Silence was good. He could do that after seeing the expression on Sam’s face.

Shi - uh, shoot. Even Teal’c had that look, the same look his normally impassive face displayed just before he dismembered eight hulking Jaffa with his bare hands. And everybody knew Teal’c didn’t pick on petite girls, so that left one person for the look to be directed toward.

Jack O’Neill.

Silence was sounding like a better option all the time.

Not another word was spoken until SG-1, Lyndraia, and her two companions reached the Stargate. Lyndraia hugged each member of SG-1 in turn, making them feel slightly less annoyed with her. “You’ll come back soon?” She prompted. “Sooner than a year this time?”

“We’ll try,” Jack replied honestly. He hadn’t had so much fun fighting with somebody since he was twelve years old and had to stay with his cousin for two weeks. Damn, that was a long time ago.

We’ll probably be coming back a lot sooner for your wedding, Lyndraia, Sam thought with a faint smile.

Lyndraia waved once as they disappeared into the wormhole. She had their embarkation timed perfectly - they heard her parting “Did not” when it was too late for them to do anything about it.

“Did too,” Jack muttered under his breath as his boots hit the ramp on the other side.